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Limericks Speaks for itself

#81 User is offline   sceptic 

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Posted 2005-June-11, 10:29

I opened 1 spade

my p came to my aid

4 clubs was her bid

4 diamonds was mine

she stole my heart with a 4

I rose to the occasion with a memory equation

1 club 1 heart from my p = 7NT from me

dam to quick

when there is a hulabaloo

please let me undo

before my p lynches me
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#82 User is offline   Winstonm 

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Posted 2005-June-12, 11:09

Soloway seemed totally untrainable
and his goal of great play unobtainable
through grit and his wits
and playing 4/3 fits
phone calls now are for some fellow named Hannibal.
"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."
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#83 User is online   jillybean 

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Posted 2005-June-12, 14:47

Fred Gitelman - A deft gremlin B)
"And no matter what methods you play, it is essential, for anyone aspiring to learn to be a good player, to learn the importance of bidding shape properly." MikeH
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#84 User is offline   slothy 

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Posted 2005-June-13, 07:29

the irrepressible Kiwi who married a Canadian, on yesterday, 03:47 PM, said:

Fred Gitelman  -  A deft gremlin  :D


I was wondering where Steven Spielberg had got his inspiration from..
gaudium est miseris socios habuisse penarum - Misery loves company.
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#85 User is offline   hrothgar 

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Posted 2005-June-13, 07:54

jillybean2, on Jun 12 2005, 11:47 PM, said:

Fred Gitelman - A deft gremlin :D

I REALLY like this one.

Unfortunately, Fred isn't small and green. I don't see much we can do about his height. It might be possible to dye him, though...
Alderaan delenda est
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#86 User is offline   Blofeld 

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  Posted 2005-June-13, 09:36

hrothgar, on Jun 13 2005, 08:54 AM, said:

I don't see much we can do about his height.

Well so long as he doesn't need his feet for anything this sounds solvable ...
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#87 User is offline   aisha759 

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Posted 2005-June-13, 10:16

BILL GATES = LEGAL BITS

:)
You know its time to diet, when you nod one chin and 2 others second the motion :)
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#88 User is offline   slothy 

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Posted 2005-June-13, 12:08

aisha759, on Jun 13 2005, 11:16 AM, said:

BILL GATES = LEGAL BITS

:)

i bet his middle names aer Ira Lech (I.L.)

:unsure:

thats my complimentary longhorn OS CD gone down the draino :)
gaudium est miseris socios habuisse penarum - Misery loves company.
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#89 User is offline   Winstonm 

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Posted 2005-June-13, 15:30

Bob Hamman-GOD.

(Tongue firmly planted in cheek) If you don't think this is an anagram, ask BOB what he thinks! :)
"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."
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#90 User is offline   Winstonm 

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Posted 2005-June-13, 18:41

In another post I noticed I had written this: from: 2001: A Space Odessy:

It brought to mind a question for all you English scholars out there. Is there a quota: on the number: of colons: one may use: in any one: sentence?

Thanks,

WinstonM
"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."
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#91 User is offline   dogsbreath 

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Posted 2005-June-14, 17:12

DONT cry for me Madge and Tina
you know the truth is I never raised ya
throughtout the bad bids
i kept my strength hid
and now i'm giving bridge lessons in Kenya


..a suitably awful end to this thread i hope Dog :P :blink: B)
ManoVerboard
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#92 User is offline   Double ! 

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Posted 2005-June-14, 19:25

well done Dog:
Madonna couldn't have sung it better!
"That's my story, and I'm sticking to it!"
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#93 User is offline   Winstonm 

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Posted 2005-June-14, 19:27

Oh my God! Have we started a new thread called, "Bridge Tunes"?

I'll have to dig out all my old Mad Magazines: "Sung to the tune of...."

WinstonM
"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."
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#94 User is offline   32519 

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Posted 2013-March-02, 07:32

Roland just loved a convention called "Gerber"
As I'm sure all BBO members have heard eh?
Instead he now uses it for Texas
But this for his partner it vexes
Saying, "In this game you will go no further!"
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#95 User is offline   32519 

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Posted 2013-March-02, 11:29

Roland's other all time favourite convention is "Flannery"
Something which he absolutely refuses to have in his armoury
"Why waste a good bid?"
Asking is all that he did
"Please use 2♦ for anything else and humour me!"
Website: www.andrewswebcorner.co.za
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#96 User is offline   Lord Molyb 

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Posted 2013-March-02, 15:48

There was a boy who played the game
We're all here, we know its name.
From 7 clubs to 1 spade
All the contracts he made
But his partner he would blame. :(
Become yourself.
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#97 User is offline   32519 

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Posted 2013-March-02, 21:53

Richard wanted to play his system MOSCITO
No, no! Said the ACBL who veto
A system that's funny
Reduces the money
I tried, said Richard, and ate a frito
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#98 User is offline   chasetb 

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Posted 2013-March-03, 00:21

There once was a lad from Lancaster
Whose newest goal was to be a Life Master
So he went to the Club
But was proven a dub
Now pretty lasses are all that he's after :lol:
"It's not enough to win the tricks that belong to you. Try also for some that belong to the opponents."

"Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make them all yourself."

"One advantage of bad bidding is that you get practice at playing atrocious contracts."

-Alfred Sheinwold
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#99 User is offline   32519 

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Posted 2013-March-03, 00:27

BBO has a player from Scotland named Paul
Playing bridge turned out to be his life’s call
By using sterling defence
The pressure was immense
And so he made all his opponents feel small
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#100 User is offline   1eyedjack 

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Posted 2013-March-03, 03:48

The poets on BBO forum
exceeded the maximum quorum.
If they can't learn to scan,
their posts we should ban
and restore us a sense of decorum.
Psych (pron. saik): A gross and deliberate misstatement of honour strength and/or suit length. Expressly permitted under Law 73E but forbidden contrary to that law by Acol club tourneys.

Psyche (pron. sahy-kee): The human soul, spirit or mind (derived, personification thereof, beloved of Eros, Greek myth).
Masterminding (pron. mPosted ImagesPosted ImagetPosted Imager-mPosted ImagendPosted Imageing) tr. v. - Any bid made by bridge player with which partner disagrees.

"Gentlemen, when the barrage lifts." 9th battalion, King's own Yorkshire light infantry,
2000 years earlier: "morituri te salutant"

"I will be with you, whatever". Blair to Bush, precursor to invasion of Iraq
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