[kenberg]

Growing up in the 1940s and 50s, no one ever gave anyone money for Christmas. It was considered grossly tacky.

Now people give gift cards, which strikes me as a perfect combination of tacky and stupid. Basically it's "I don't really have any ideas for a present so I will just give you some money that I insist you spend at the store/restaurant/theater that I have picked out". This came up today as we were out shopping. My wife was thinking that instead of giving gift cards perhaps we should just give cash. It occurred to me that we could all just sit in a circle and each of us pass $100 (or $200, what the hell) to the person on our left and then all shout Merry Christmas.

We have worked out something with the oldest grandchild, now 18. Once again we will be making a donation in her name to an organization of her choice, this year an animal rescue league. At times I feel I need to explain to her that her proper role is to be more demanding but of course I am very pleased. But giving out a bunch of ***** gift cards to the ones who I can't think what they need (mostly because they don't much need anything) is starting to get to me.

I'll get over it.

Really, I will. Happy Holidays to everyone.

Ken

[jillybean]

For once I completely understand and agree with something posted in the WC.

Merry Christmas

[PassedOut]

Me too. Constance and I love to poke fun at this practice privately, but have kept that to ourselves because we're trying to cut down on comments people find hurtful.

[awm]

The other side of this equation is, we have received a lot of rather tacky and very useless gifts from people. It's often tough to deal with these... we have to express gratitude because it's considerate to give a gift, but at the same time we are left with something ridiculous at the end of the day. We can't give it away (after all, we didn't like it so our friends might not like it either, and our "regifting" might get back to the original person)...

A gift card is something that will virtually always be used. Unlike cash, if people ask whether we used their gift card to a local restaurant, or what we got with their gift card to a department store, there is something to point at. Cash tends to be added to bank accounts and merged with other money, at which point it becomes hard to identify which cash purchased which item (and a lot of money gets spent on unexciting things like paying the mortgage).

To some degree the appropriateness of a gift card depends on the relationship with the person you give it to. I can understand kenberg's point about giving a gift card to your grandkids (say) but a gift card is perfect for an office co-worker or an occasional partner at the bridge club (i.e. someone you maybe don't know that well, but feel like you should give something to).

[gwnn]

What if you know that this person always shops for shoes in this store so it could be a dream-gift.

[JoAnneM]

Actually there is a surprisingly high percentage of gift card value that is never redeemed, and so the store, restaurant, vendor, just pockets the money. For instance several years ago we purchased a Napa wine train gift card for our son and new wife. They could choose the trip whenever they liked. They never did, just too busy. And, they love wine! We thought it was the perfect gift.

Not only that but while the gift cards are sitting in everyone's pockets the money is sitting in the store's bank accounts, and the merchandise is still in their inventory. This seems to me to be very much too good for the store.

I love the idea of donations and will bring it up at our family gathering this afternoon. My sister is having everyone over for tea.

[kenberg]

I hadn't meant to hurt anyone. We have fallen into the practice ourselves so it's not like I am claiming any better way. It just one of the aspects of modern life. Sixty years after the fact I remember many of my presents and who gave them to me. Times have changed.

It's still possible, at least somewhat, to buy something for my daughters that they will like. It's the grandkids that are the problem. If they want it, the chances are excellent that they have it. So we get them a gift card. I fondly remember the socket set my parents got me. I doubt that they will remember the gift card.

Somehow it has gone best with the oldest, the one with the donation to the animal rescue league. When she was a good deal younger, her present was a trip with us to a winter lodge in the (sort of) mountainous area of Maryland. Totally unscheduled time. She loved it. A present that I think she might remember.

So we will be giving some gift cards or maybe some cash, I have no better idea, but I believe something has been lost.

My older daughter is getting a pair of alpaca socks, made from local alpaca. It's a bit of a stretch, but I don't think she has any!

[gwnn]

what's the exact point of making a donation in someone's name? can someone explain to me? I'm still feeling a little like George (Costanza) about the whole thing

[babalu1997]

honestly, one of the best gifts i ever got was a bag of cat food

the person thought of me, the cat ate it

flea medicine is expensive so a boc or too is a nice gift.

[Winstonm]

I just dropped off a gift card for Ben's Meats to the local Vegan Society - I told them it was from "Ken".

[TimG]

I agree with you in general, but something like an iTunes gift card might be a good stocking stuffer. I'm sure my kids would appreciate it much more than if I picked the music out for them.

[kenberg]

TimG, on 2010-December-11, 14:30, said:

I agree with you in general, but something like an iTunes gift card might be a good stocking stuffer. I'm sure my kids would appreciate it much more than if I picked the music out for them.

Right, this is the way to do it. When I got one of these game things (I am so unaware of it all I cannot even be more specific than that) I had my grandson write down exactly what it was that I was to get him. Same principle. For me to attempt to get him something like that based on my own judgment would be total foolishness.

[kenberg]

gwnn, on 2010-December-11, 12:35, said:

what's the exact point of making a donation in someone's name? can someone explain to me? I'm still feeling a little like George (Costanza) about the whole thing

Well, it seems to work. Here is approximately why: Kathryn has a lot of stuff. I once was watching her at a birthday party opening one gift after another. She is well brought up and expressed great enthusiasm for each gift. Oh thank you, I always wanted skull shaped earrings. It must have been exhausting. And then she had to figure where to put it all. Now compare this with making a donation in her name. She doesn't have to ohh and ahh over it. It's a way of saying that we support her enthusiasms. And she is part of a worthwhile endeavor.

But basically, with her, it just seems to work. Maybe when the other kids get older, it will work with them also. Not yet.

[y66]

We are pretty low key here and I haven't thought about this yet. So this is good timing. I just asked my wife what kind of stuff she likes to get as gifts. Socks are near the top of the list. I kind of figured that. She mentioned something about a cookbook stand. So, thats probably what I'll go with this year.

When asked, I used to go to Ping's website, pick something out and give her the specs. The last thing I asked for was an ultralight golf bag which makes it easier for her when she carries my clubs (usually just the first 2 or 3 holes). But I'm pretty much set in the golf department. I can't think of anything I want off the top of my head.

I don't have grandkids. If I did, I think I would just ask them what they want or give them cash.

[hrothgar]

Idle speculation:

When you give cash, said cash gets placed in to the wallet where it immediately blends in with all the other bills/coins/what have you.
When that cash gets spent, there's nothing to denote that these bills came from "Uncle Bob" rather than some other source.

In contrast, if you give a gift card you're giving something tangible.
Later, when that gift card gets used, its more likely that folks will associate this purchase with "Uncle Bob".

[luke warm]

it probably is tacky and all those other things, but we buy gifts for 5 kids and 10 grandkids... also, they do not all live within shouting distance... the kids themselves would rather have a visa giftcard (or so we've been told)... i agree with richard about cash vs. giftcards

p.s. - i asked my wife what she wanted for christmas and she said "oh i'd love to have a lowe's giftcard"... i won't call her (or think of her as) gross or tacky or anything else... it's what she wants and i don't see anything wrong with it... i also doubt that i will privately poke fun at her (not about this, anyway )

[PassedOut]

luke warm, on 2010-December-12, 08:53, said:

p.s. - i asked my wife what she wanted for christmas and she said "oh i'd love to have a lowe's giftcard"... i won't call her (or think of her as) gross or tacky or anything else... it's what she wants and i don't see anything wrong with it... i also doubt that i will privately poke fun at her (not about this, anyway )

Seems like a very wise policy...

[kenberg]

One Christmas, when I was quite young, my father gave my mother a diamond wedding ring. Such a ring was beyond their means when they were married.

Times have changed and no doubt, all in all, it is for the better. I, and most people I know, would be hard pressed to name something that we would really like to someday have. Well, sure. Santa Baby, I want a yacht and really that's not a lot.... Actually I don't want a yacht. An Aston-Martin maybe.


For my birthday, my wife is buying me new glasses with anti-glare coating. Headlights on rainy nights bother me more than they used to. There is probably some self-interest in this, since she is in the car too. I am pleased.
Christmas 1954 I got this really neat socket set.....

I am on no campaign here, just indulging some nostalgia.

[TimG]

Two best gifts I remember receiving are an old fashioned meat grinder and a hammock. I only used the meat grinder a couple of times, it wasn't really "food grade" by the time my mother found it in flea market, but it is the sort of thing that I like and the fact that my mother knew that and thought of me when she saw the meat grinder made the gift special. The hammock was something that I would not have bought for myself, but which I have used and enjoyed a lot. That both of the gifts were unexpected added to their value as gifts.

As a kid, I received the usual array of skis and money and electronic games. Very often I knew exactly what was going to be under the tree. I remember some of them, but none stand out as special.

Anyway, I think thought and surprise are important aspects of a good gift. Gift cards generally seem to me to avoid the thought part of the equation.

[Phil]

JoAnneM, on 2010-December-11, 12:19, said:

Actually there is a surprisingly high percentage of gift card value that is never redeemed, and so the store, restaurant, vendor, just pockets the money.

Yeah its generally a 3rd party vendor that sells these gift cards to supermarkets, etc.. Frequently they are never redeemed. A few companies got into trouble were charging a monthly 'maintenance fee' (uh, for...having the use of the money?) which would erode the cards value until it was zip, which frequently happens with teenagers (er, mine). I have found gift cards laying around the house, and its like Christmas all over again LOL.

I recall Home Depot got into big trouble a few years ago about listing unredeemed gift cards as income on their 10Q's.